Living the dream....... literally!

Matt was the one to write the birth story, because he was there way more clear headed and remembers more then I do. It may have been 36 hours, but honestly it is one big hazy blur to me. By the time they rolled me into the OR they were asking me questions and I was just laying on the table wondering, are they talking to me? What was the question? When are they going to start this procedure and get it over with. Then I heard him cry! I had no idea they had even started yet! I could hardly keep my eyes open after I heard him cry, I was so relieved he was here, and so exhausted.

After Miles was born and we made it back to recovery, I literally crashed. I vaguely remember him getting his first bath, his hepatitis vaccination, and having a nurse walk me through nursing. I don't remember a word she said. At some point I posted on facebook that he was here, and then I literally was asleep or dozing until 3pm. When I finally came around and was somewhat clear headed I felt horrible about being so out of it for the first moments of my sons life. My parents had come to visit and I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to carry on a conversation. I also say I had literally missed 20 some odd text messages, so if I didn't respond to you, I am very sorry. But most of all, I was upset that I hadn't even really gotten to hold my own son yet. I woke up with this incrediable urge to see his face. 

That night Matts parents came by and met Miles and it was my first real moment as an observer to any aspect of Miles birthday. I can't tell you how it felt to see the look on Matts face when he introduced our son to them. Donna and Dale were very much in love with Miles (as were John and Kim) but to see my husband beaming as his parents cooed over our baby melted me like butter on movie poopcorn. I don't remember much of what Donna or Dale said, or even what my parents said that day. But I will never forget the look on Matt or the smile he had as introduced Miles to them. Later that night Kristen, the most amazing partner a pharmacist could ask for, came over to visit. I still didn't feel like it was real sitting there talking to her- watching her hold my son. It was like I was in a dream- a dream where both my cha cha and stomach hurt very badly- but a dream none the less.

It still feels like a dream now, even today, (day 3) but its a beautiful dream, and as tired and exhausted as I am, and as bad as my stomach throbs, I'm very thankful to have this adorable family. Last night Matt and I kept Miles in our hospital room instead of sending him to the nursery so I'm sure today will feel even more dream like and hazy. But this little face, with these little eyes, and this little nose, literally make every moment worth it. 

Miles Dale- you are a dream come true. Matthew Dale- I wouldn't want to live this dream with anyone but you.